已经很久没有这般感受了—可能就是在我认为人生最黑暗最狭窄最令人窒息的时候，上帝送来的提醒。好美丽的提醒啊：一首让人听了在旋律以及意境中流连忘返、听完之后音缭绕的佳作，今天就一直在我脑海与心头打转，实在想和大家分享。歌曲名为“你是我的眼”，由台湾歌手萧煌奇作词作曲并且演绎。听了让人发现诚意、发现那单靠视觉理性过活的不足，并学会挣开心灵之“眼”。
September 22, 2007
Today was one of the finest days I’ve had in a while. Nostalgia just takes you by surprise at times – I was deliberating upon my attending this gathering (or not) but it so happened that I went. It feels like time just flew by me. I like the visuality of this metaphor. A wind, nameless and rushing. There is something comforting about existing within a cliche: that way, you feel like your experiences are cushioned by some sense of the collective.
There is something about group portraits that keeps getting at me, somehow. Immortality is ridiculous.
Unrelatedly: I am not eating at Plaza Singapore until next year, if I can help it. And I am becoming more and more enamoured of Sticky Rice. Go my bank account!
moth at busstop
so long there is no waiting
you martyr, of this place
coming and going so long
you have flown and never tired of the light,
here
o have you come to comfort me
the embarrassment, of waiting
the seat is warm with the scent of my body
a posture, struck into dreaming
you come to the light
you know, you know,
the rain clouds gathering, potent
under your wings i know you are keeping
the light, for winter in this city
of late buses and lonely hearts
January 5, 2007
莫听穿林打叶声，何妨吟啸且徐行。竹杖芒鞋轻胜马，谁怕？一蓑烟雨任平生。
料峭春风吹酒醒，微冷，山头斜照却相迎。回首向来萧瑟处，归去，也无风雨也无晴。
－苏轼
January 4, 2007
The new academic year has barely started, and Barnard has not drawn up the HP timetable, which explains the entire existence of my blogging presence. Without the timetable, it doesn’t feel like my internal school clock has started yet, and mostly we just sit around in the classroom waiting for Barnard to tell us when he would like to have lessons.
For the most part though, other aspects of school life has moved ahead, perhaps faster than I would have liked them to. 黄城 preparation will probably go into full force once the auditions are held next week, guitar does not seem likely to slacken. Meanwhile, a math test sits, silently, on a certain Next Friday. Holiday homework needs to be handed up. In Chinese, in spite of administrative issues, teaching is ready to begin. Oh, and a meeting with my H3 mentor is probably in sight, next week.
I knew this year wasn’t easy.
(Taiwan pictures will come over the weekend, in a separate post.)
January 4, 2007
Christmas passed especially fast this year, because I arrived back in Singapore only two days before it was due to happen (was ill and incapacitated too), and because I hadn’t entered the everyyear routine of shopping and thanksgiving. As I took time to ponder those divine gifts we are blessed with, I can recall the mundane ones that neglect has banished. My imperfect, mongrelised thanks to:-
The Classmates, especially Ya Wen, Chee How, Theodore, Rachael, David, Marcus Hanyun — for making this year more bearable than it might have turned out. If only by the sheer knowledge that the suffering has at least the merit of equality. =P
Ex-Classmates, especially Joseph, Jianhui, Colin — for gaming, chatting, and allowing me to find comfort in the past, as well as the present.
华韵众编委：谢谢你们的付出，很高兴能共同写下华初历史的一页，给我留下 2006 年最光荣的纪念。
台湾交流计划同学（中新两地）：谢谢大家的包容，让路走得更平坦愉快，相信每个人都有很大的收获，包括我。
And Him who has found me.
To a better 2007.
December 1, 2006
不小心认识到的幸福
它是肥皂水
在挣扎中美丽
他给你安静，你给他囚禁
快乐像浅色涂鸦
看不到影子
香醇的咖啡色的声音
在心中搅拌
然后可以品尝
他给你沉默，你给他夷为平地
认识是旅游，旅游是背弃
是向前
是奔跑
August 27, 2006
最近发现陈绮贞轻快干净而有诗意的音乐，非常喜欢。以下是其中一首创作，非常有味道。
陈绮贞－旅行的意义
你看过了许多美景
你看过了许多美女
你迷失在地图上
每一道短暂的光阴你品尝了夜的巴黎
你踏过下雪的北京
你熟记书本里
每一句你最爱的真理却说不出你爱我的原因
却说不出你欣赏我哪一种表情
却说不出在什么场合我曾让你动心
说不出离开的原因你累计了许多飞行
你用心挑选纪念品
你收集了地图上
每一次的风和日丽你拥抱热情的岛屿
你埋葬记忆的土耳其
你流连电影里美丽的不真实的场景
却说不出你爱我的原因
却说不出你欣赏我哪一种表情
你却说不出什么在场合我曾让你分心
说不出旅行的意义你勉强说出你爱我的原因
却说不出你欣赏我哪一种表情
却说不出在什么场合我曾让你分心
说不出离开的原因勉强说出你为我寄出的每一封信
都是你离开的原因
你离开我
就是旅行的意义
我一直都很喜欢出国旅行，大概是因为出国似是一种合法的逃避。所以我都不喜欢参观各国指定的所谓的旅游景点 ，除了价钱比平常高出２到３倍以外，这些地方就是缺乏真实感和说服力。很多时候，旅人拥有的知识一种犯罪感。记得我在做读书报告时有写过：
旅游是自愿行走，也可能是停留，无论因为某种感觉而裹足不前还是消极地随着流水飘荡；既然如此，重点在于旅游强调无法完整的感官刺激和精神刺激。无法完整，是因为游者必定是外人和陌生人；当这群人投下好奇的眼神寻找触电般的新鲜感时，不经意地也行以窥探。他们不知不觉违背了自己的某个原则，不由得而必须地，感到内疚、抱歉。这样一触就得立即悔过的旅游能化解欲望和理智之间的矛盾，让旅人免于良心的羁绊。
August 16, 2006
终于抽空出来写网志了……
十五分钟前已经关灯上床了，但就是辗转不眠。想怪空气的温度/冷气/风扇/床褥/枕头/等等
可能是之前做足了三个小时的数学题目，大脑还没停止活动，现在终于体验到思维阻塞的滋味了
这整个礼拜啊 — 就只能以一个字来形容它……累！
星期一：身体不适，决定呆在家里
星期二：课后开了简单的小华韵会议（真期待书本印刷完毕的那天…但之前得先加倍努力啦），之后就继续呆在语特教室做些排版工作（其实只是试用Pagemaker-把它给练熟了将来就不会那么麻烦|无奈的是，语特教室里安装的软件全都是华语版的，用起来超吃力！)。晚上照常去教补习。
今天：CT Session 竟延长一个小时……早知道该学同学“避课”（注意：不是“逃课”）。然后必须出席交流计划的一个总结会议；召开会议的目的原本是为了集合大家的意见 、回馈、感受等，但最终完全没做到，看独角戏。嗨……
累的感觉其实不会太难受。如果体力还没透支的话，暂时性的麻木能给予解脱。
脱离现实的感觉是……没有感觉，因为所有的自我意识完全消失，只存在对“物”的执著。
虽然感觉周末时，整个人即将崩溃……
没关系。
